You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I didn't notice because vodka
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
