Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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