She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
