why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Boobs are out for the taking
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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