I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
accomplished twins. life is a go
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
