I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
