Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
