I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
