Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
