2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
