It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
