i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize