I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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