That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
