Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
