Soap is not a condiment
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize