thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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