I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
