We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize