For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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