nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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