Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
