Me. At least after what I've been through.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
