The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
home. puking in laundry basket.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
