He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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