Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
