How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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