I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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