apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
