I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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