You're my little dorito
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just invented taco cereal.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
