You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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