it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
