After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
