This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
