My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
