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Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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