I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize