I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
