are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
