why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize