They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
And then he peed in my hair
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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