i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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