Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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