$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
