the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
