dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
