this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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