girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
