I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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