I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize