It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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