did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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