Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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