It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
