I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
