whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
