Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
