He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize